The Best Romantic Story is with One’s Self

Who does not want a romantic relationship? I know I do, someone to do life big with, a purpose partner, a best friend, and whatever comes into your mind. A few might not crave this (monks’ priests etc.) but I know a majority of human beings do. However, to enjoy a romantic relationship with your significant other, you need to first enjoy one with yourself. You might have heard of this saying before, “You cannot give out what you do not have”. How do you expect to give love or know what love is for you if you can not give it to yourself? The relationship you have with yourself will set a foundation for the relationship you have with your significant other. By showing yourself love, you will set the tone for how you want others to treat you.

It’s sad how many of us go into relationships looking for someone to complete us. In a relationship, one half plus one half does not equal one whole. What do I mean by one half, If you think your life is centered around your significant other, codependency if your happiness has to be tied to you being in a relationship and you do not feel complete when you are not in a relationship. Therefore, In a relationship, one whole plus one whole equals one healthy whole.  You have to know and love yourself enough to be independent. To know your stand-alone values, knowing what you what to achieve in life. To discover and go after that which tugs your heart and live a meaningful and fulfilled life. In one of Jamie grace’s podcasts, she stated “ I would rather stay single, get deeply rooted in knowing who I am, loving myself and finding my dharma (monk’s way of saying purpose), going after it. And if I get to meet someone on the way, that is great we live a purposeful life together. If I don’t, well life is still amazing. I think being able to say and mean this statement is the optimum level of maturity and knowing that you are one whole.

Loving one’s self does not come naturally to a lot of people. Many tend to not enjoy their own company,  become their worst critics. And for some getting into relationships is tied to their self-worth because they do not realize they are worthy themselves, they are not in love with who they are. You have to be intentional about your self-love journey. It’s a process.

Signs you might not be giving yourself self-love

• Constant self-critic
• Looking down on yourself
• Always apologetic about one’s self
• Low self esteem
• Feeling inadequate- constantly feeling like you don’t measure up
• Feeling Shame ( you are never ashamed of someone who you really love are you?)

How To Practice Self Love

The more you love yourself, the more you can give to others, and the more love you will attract from others.

you not perfect, you are a work in progress

• Recognize you are unique and let go of comparison

• Date yourself – get to know you, your likes and dislikes and spend time with you.
• Give yourself grace, you are not perfect, you are work in progress
• Affirm yourself, speak life towards you, use kind and encouraging words ( self love affirmations)
• Do something nice for yourself like going on solo dates, working out & meditation
• Connect with your faith, know who you are in God (godfidence and trust he has your best interest at heart)

The ability to completely fall in love with yourself is rare that is why it is the best romantic story.

Set out on a journey to loving yourself and discover the best love story yet, and yes better than that of Hallmark movies.

tanyafungai