Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages.

Gary Chapman’s book, the five Love languages is a New York bestselling book. His book went viral because it helped couples learn to love each other the way one likes to be loved. The whole idea is centered around how everyone feels loved in different ways. You might think that you are the most loving spouse or partner there is and yet your significant other does not feel loved. The way you feel loved is what he refers to as the love language. It is, therefore, our duty to know our partner’s love language and that way you can communicate your love for them in a way that they feel loved. One has to know their love language before they can be able to share with their partner what their love language is. At the end of this article, I will share with you a quiz that is meant to help you discover your language.

Why is Learning Your Partner’s Love Language Important?

Learning and using your partner’s love language, reduces tension in a relationship because you are communicating love the way they feel loved. When you show your partner love in a way they don’t feel loved, you might end up feeling like you are not appreciated because they are not responding positively. It’s equally important to communicate your love language to your partner as well. When they do something that makes you feel loved, you can comment on that on a regular day. For instance, Baby, that day you brought me flowers made me feel special and I appreciate you. Mentioning that, will make your partner want to get you flowers often because they know how special that makes you feel.

Gary Chapman has  broken down the love languages into 5 which are

1. Physical Touch
2. Acts of Service
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Quality time
5. Words of Affirmation

Physical Touch

If your primary love language is physical touch you feel more loved when you receive physical signs of affection like hugging, holding hands or cuddling. People with this love language, simply wants to be close to their partners physically. An ideal date for them could watching a movie while cuddling.

Acts of Service

When your love language is acts of service, you value it when your partner goes out of their way to make your life easier. Things like running errands, helping with chores makes them feel loved. This love language resonates with people who mostly feel like actions speak louder than words, they want to see you act out your love.

Receiving Gifts

Some people confuse this with being materialistic, but the two are completely different. People with this type of love language do not usually attach a price tag to the gift. Its more about you were thinking about me when I was not with you and that lead it to you getting me a gift. Its more about the thought that counts. They treasure every gift they get from their partner. The gift has to be heartfelt.

Words of Affirmation

Words of affirmation are about expressing affection through spoken words, praise, or appreciation. This group of people feel mostly loved when they receive verbal acknowledgements, frequent compliments and I love you’s. Random texts and social media engagement like tagging them makes them feel loved. For these people criticism has a negative effect on them and the relationship

Quality Time

This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. People who resonate with this love language feel loved when you set aside time even from your busy schedule to be with them. Its not about the time spent, but the quality of time. They feel unloved, if you are taking business calls during the time that you scheduled with them. They feel loved when you are in the same room together even in silence. The person feels loved if you are present and focused on them. This means putting down the cell phone, making eye contact as well as actively listening.

Learn to love your significant other in a way they feel loved. Checked out this quiz to help you discover your love language designed by Gary Chapman.

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