Practical Tips For Dealing With Offense

From the time you get connected with the outside world whether through the phone or in person at work, school, or supermarket, there is a high possibility of getting offended. Offense is one of the world’s greatest productivity thieves. It takes so much energy to be offended, you keep replying to the offense and it distracts you from living your life. Think of the last time you were offended, how did that make you feel, did you get all worked out about the situation, I know I do. But that is not how it should be, you have a choice of not letting offense steal your joy or steal your productivity. Learning how to deal with an offense is a major part of your personal growth because as long as you live in a world with people, you are exposed to offense.

Offense Definition

Annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself.

If you hurt someone’s feelings, you offend that person.

When you feel offended, It’s up to you whether or not you want to deal with it. You cannot control how others act and behave but you can control how you respond to a situation. I like how Victoria Osteen puts it “It’s their offense, it only becomes your offense when you decide to take it in, meditate on it and hold on to the hurt”. Sometimes the other people don’t even mean to be offensive or even realize that they have been offensive towards you. You cannot let someone else’s reckless actions sour the rest of your day or even weeks. The quicker you let go of the offense the freer you live. The longer you allow it to stay, the more it builds up into other stronger negative emotions like bitterness, anger & resentment.

Effects of Holding on to offense

• anxiety
• it steals your joy
• creates a back and forth obsession in your mind and blocks creativity
• destroys connection in relationships
• builds up to bitterness, anger & resentment

So, how can one deal with offense

First things first, you should realize that no one is responsible for your feelings. You are 100% responsible for how you choose to respond even though you have no control over how insensitive people can be.

1. Realize it’s not about you, It reflects on the person who has been insensitive or trying to hand over the offense to you. Usually, people project their insecurities on others, people criticize what they’re insecure about. So, instead of holding on to the offense rather empathize with them or just remember they are work in progress just like you. They might be having a bad day, month, or season themselves but don’t take the bait of their offense.

2. Look at it from the next person’s perspective. At times, some people don’t mean to offend you. Instead of staying sour, try to understand where they are coming from. Step out of you for a moment and see the world, or situation through your offenders’ eyes. Sometimes it’s important to ask for clarity instead of living on assumptions.

3. Avoid obsessing over the offense by speaking life and replacing those negative thoughts with positive constructive thoughts. What you dwell and focus on you magnify. When you catch yourself feeding on the offense, make a conscious decision to change your focus by replacing the thoughts

4. Respond to bad with the good, respond to offense with a compliment. Some people are just generally out there to offend you or push your buttons, but hey you don’t have to hand over your power, your joy to them. Respond in a way they won’t anticipate, repay evil with good.

tanyafungai