Love & Relationships: The Hard Stuff No One Wants To Talk About.

It’s in every human being’s nature to want to belong. One of the ways we feel belonging is in relationships, different kinds of relationships, romantic, friendships, family, and business. We all want to belong, to feel wanted to build relationships with the people we co-exist with. But one of the hardest types of relationships nowadays is a romantic relationship. I mean, who doesn’t want their own love story that can be turned into a Disney film someday? Love is a beautiful thing, but finding the right fit is another story. We are in an era of hundreds of online dating sites with millions of people but still have difficulties finding and maintaining romantic relationships. This shows that meeting potential partners is the least of our problems but building and growing our love relationships is. In this article, we will go into some hard truths about love and relationships that no one wants to confront. But guess what, when you learn and apply these truths, your relationships will become your safe haven.

Relationships start with me

You have probably heard this statement countless times, You can not give what you do not have. If your relationship with yourself is not pleasant how do you expect to have a pleasant relationship with the next person? I once heard someone say, we do not have relationship problems, we bring our problems into relationships. That hit deep. The problem most of us have is that we get into romantic relationships to seek validation, or for someone to make us happy and whole. We often say statements like my other half makes me whole. And that is the foundation of hardships in romantic relationships. One needs to be whole and happy on their own before attaching themselves to the next person. Relationships are about interdependence instead of dependence. To have successful relationships, learn to be independent, have a sense of direction in your life and when someone comes into your life you stop, let them in, and continue on the journey with a partner. You are the foundation that sets the trajectory of your love relationship.

Vulnerability is not an option

In a world where everybody wants to portray the perfect version of themselves, many have viewed vulnerability as a weakness. We want people to see our strong selves, the parts that we think are lovable, those that make us the “perfect” partner. Contrary to perfectionism, relationships with realness are more likely to be successful than those that portray perfectionism in fear of being shamed. For one to be real, you have to become vulnerable and show yourself naked to your partner. It’s scary yes, but it will require courage. Dare to be vulnerable in your relationships today.

There is nothing like a perfect partner

Everybody including you has flaws and don’t forget that. Love is about deciding to be with the next individual at all costs. There will always be someone better than your partner, prettier, more intelligent, smarter, the list is endless. But successful relationships are those that have chosen to decide to love their partners as they are without trying to change them. Tell you what, even when you find someone better, there will always be someone better than your better, you might as well decide to choose your better and stick with it.

Remember Love is immeasurable

Lastly, give your all without expecting anything in return. 50/50 relationships do not exist in my opinion. The moment we try to measure the amount of love we are giving and getting in return is the moment we set ourselves up for failure. Relationships are meant to be 100/0 for both parties. If your intentions for doing something for someone you love are to get something in return, you might as well not act upon them. Love and relationships have no room for selfishness.

Create the relationships you want by trying to implement some of these truths on love & relationships.

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