5 Personal Growth Lessons From My Mother

Where we come from has a hand on who we are today; the environment and lessons from those who raised us shape our beliefs and how we view life. It is a privilege to be raised by those who instil good values, create an environment for us to flourish, and allow us to fly out of the nest to flourish on our own, and yet still remain our guidance. Not to say how you were raised has the final say on who you are and your destiny, because as an adult, you have the freedom to unlearn, relearn, and choose your own path. In honour of Mother’s Day, I will share some of the lessons I got from my mother. Her lessons definitely had a hand in shaping who I am today. So let’s get into it.

PS, this is in no particular order of importance, but if you ask me, the last two are the most important ones.

1. Continuous Learning Outside The Classroom (Investing in Personal Development)

Growth was not something my mum verbally taught me to do; it was something I watched her live. More than 80% of the time, when my mum did chores around her home, she always had her speaker on, listening to a podcast or a sermon. She enrolled in courses to learn new skills or improve her current skills. This is beyond acquiring certifications; it is practical skills that would help her improve, even at home. For example, my mum took the initiative in learning how to preserve her produce through canning. Because of this, as an adult child who lives in a completely different city, I don’t buy things like tomatoes or beetroot because I get them from my mama!! She intentionally invested in learning different subjects that made her a better human overall, from finances to navigating relationships. Becoming better is always a part of her life, and I’m sure her bookshelf says it all!

Growing up and seeing my mum be the first one to wake up around the home to spend time in her word has contributed to my morning routine as an adult.

2.  Homemaking

As a young lady in this generation, I know this might be an unpopular opinion to openly love the idea of being a homemaker for your family. While some may deem it not dreaming big and old-fashioned, I remember how the environment created by my mum made me feel. Truth be told, I may not have appreciated it growing up, but looking back, it was everything. My mum showed me that homemaking is about creating an environment where everyone is excited to come back to, from her husband to her kids, friends, and family. She showed me how cleaning, cooking, and gardening were more than chores but an act of love towards those around you. She is definitely the Nara Smith of my family, making meals from scratch. Guys, I get to enjoy homemade bread, sourdough bread, yogurt, cheese, PEANUT BUTTER, fresh food from her organic garden, farm milk, and plenty more. The best part is it’s more than just about the food; it’s the feeling and environment it creates when we gather around the fire during winter, eating mummy’s freshly baked scones.

For this reason, I am not shy to learn and create a similar environment for my future family in an era where women who are not climbing the corporate ladder are purported to not dream big enough.

3. Forgiveness & Effort in Relationships

I think my mum is one person who does not give up on relationships too easily, not because it’s the easy thing to do or she is being too soft, but because she values relationships, and that’s what God intends us to do. Trust me, it’s not being soft, she is the kind of mum to sell me out to the cops and take accountability for my actions. She taught me that relationships are not easy and the necessity of having those hard conversations; actually being a bigger person, even to initiate those tough conversations. She always reminds us of how unforgiveness and holding on to hurt does more harm to us than the next person. Disclaimer: I am still work in progress in this area, but I hope that as you read, you will implement it in your own personal growth.

4. Seeking Wisdom From God

As an adult child, the number 1 question my mother asks me is, “Have you asked God about it?” or “What is God saying about it?” One of the most important lessons my mum taught me is having a personal relationship with God! It’s not something that she can do for me, but a step I have to take for myself. She taught me that you should seek God’s wisdom in everything, and I mean anything and everything. In your workplace, in cooking, or even in any mundane thing, you might think of. Ask God for help because he knows all things. For me, it turned out to be the best personal development tip I have ever received because, believe me, the Holy Spirit speaks!

Check out The missing link in your personal development journey

5. Putting God First Place: No Life Happens Outside of God

As I mentioned above, I watched my mum be the first person to wake up and spend her quiet time with God. She taught me how to put God first place (not just for Instagram bio, haha) but living it. I watched her and my father explain to us some family decisions made because we have to honour God. She was never big on the career path she wanted for me, but on being in the will of God for your life. It was never about what may look more successful on the outside, but putting God first place. She taught us that doing everything as unto the Lord is more important. It could be cleaning, studying, or running a business; the most important thing is your motive. Are you doing it unto God?

I think this is a tip to living a fulfilled life!!!

This is just a drop in the ocean of what I learnt from my mum. And yeah, sometimes you get some not-so-good traits like sleeping through movie nights and not being easily impressed by restaurant food ( take me out at your own risk, because I will judge the food, haha), well, only because my mum makes the most hearty meals at home. I hope some of these lessons will help you in your personal growth journey, too.

Thank you, Mama, for creating an environment I will forever cherish!

tanyafungai