Fear & Forgiveness: Living a fulfilled life.

This week on the journey to living a fulfilled life, we are going to focus on two subjects that usually cause people to live a miserable and average life. I admit I have been a victim of these two subjects as well. But hey, growth is a process you don’t need to be perfect but work towards becoming a better version of yourself daily. Your outside environment is a reflection of what is inside of you. That is why a fulfilled life is developed from within. There are two areas that I believe if we master, they will contribute to us living a fulfilled life. The area of fear and forgiveness

Forgiveness

Not only does one need to master the art of forgiving others but forgiving yourself as well. You will be surprised how many people harbor unforgiveness from their past and cannot stand to live with themselves and yet you are the one person you can not escape. The art of forgiving is not so much about the next person but it’s about you. There is healing in forgiveness.

Forgiveness definition by mayo clinic: decision to let go of resentments and thoughts of revenge. I like the ‘decision’ part of the definition. Forgiveness is a choice, you can decide to forgive someone even without getting an apology and I believe that is one of the most difficult things to do. In a Psychology Today Online article, Gordon Livingston indicates that forgiveness “is not something we do for others; it is a gift to ourselves.” Livingston goes on to say that forgiveness is neither forgetting nor reconciliation. Some people believe that when they  let go of the wrong doing they are acknowledging  that it was not wrong or it was not hurtful. The truth is you have to allow yourself to feel the hurt but decide to let go and forgive. Unforgiveness leads to bitterness and resentment which makes it difficult to live a fulfilled life. It can also have an impact on your physical health, remember what is on the inside of you, will always reflect on the outside.

Some benefits of forgiveness include: Lower blood pressure, Stress reduction, Less hostility, Better anger management skills, Lower heart rate, Lower risk of alcohol or substance abuse, reduces depression symptoms, Reduction in chronic pain, More  friendships, healthier relationships

Try to practice forgiveness in your day to day life. For some, it comes easy but if you are not one of them, hey don’t worry about it it’s a process.

Fear

The worst thing in my opinion is to live as a prisoner of fear. I can speak from experience on this one. I have once experienced fear that lead to me shaking uncontrollably only to realized it was all in my mind. Fear is one of the main reasons why a lot of people do not live to their full potential. The best way to overcoming fear is ‘doing it afraid‘. Nelson Mandela once said ” Courage is not the absence of fear but the triumph over it”  Courage does not exist where there is no fear. To live a fulfilled life, we have to learn to starve our fear.

The story of two wolves

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

This same concept applies to the way we deal with our fears. We can decide to feed our fears or starve them, the choice is up to you!. When it comes to facing your fears to fulfill your dreams, you will always realize it’s not as bad as looks. Let’s bring it home, think of something that you were super afraid of doing but did it anyway, am sure you experienced the “it’s not as bad as it seems feeling”. From her book, The confident woman, Joyce Meyer explains how fear operates in such a way that it exaggerates the actual conditions until you find the courage to face it. At the end of the day, you will realize it’s not as bad as it seems.

Living in fear and harboring unforgiveness will hinder you from living a fulfilled life. Don’t forget to do life big and live a fulfilled life!

tanyafungai